Ssssssh…..do you hear that?
That’s the sound of radio silence here on Hue La La for the past week! Apologies for being off the radar, but trust me when I say it was for a very good reason!! In fact, it was a phenomon of consecutive good reasons.
And here’s where you begin to roll your eyes and hate me!!!
I have crazy amazing, jump out of my skin news, but I’m not able to chirp about it….yet!!
Gah…I’m such a tease!!
So here’s what I can share…
Within a span of 7 days, I scratched off not one, but two biggies from my dream board. And I had FOUR other flippin’ fantastic opportunities that the universe plopped in my lap which I SO didn’t expect.
Weeks like this NEVER happen…ever!!
And yes…I totally believe in that whole “universe” thang. In fact, I sometimes consider me-self even a tad cray-cray because I talk to “the universe” from time to time (…mostly between solo karaoke sessions in my fly minivan).
So, before you start thinking I’m a giant brag hag, give me a mere moment to muse…
I’ve always fashioned myself to be a rather modest gal! *For some of you reading this, stop laughing*
Seriouly! I’m not really comfortable talking about myself (I said stop laughing), and in the competitive world of media filled with ladder climbing egos, I’m hyper-sensitive about being “that girl”. You know her…Ms. “oooh, look at me, I’m so awesometastic…everything I touch turns to gold, and my poop smells like pansies”.
But I’ve recently had a revelation…
I’ve realized that I’m not very good at dreaming out loud and telling others about my aspirations let alone my achievements. Perhaps it’s the polite Canadian in me (sorry 😉 ) but I somehow feel a bit squeamish or embarrassed about sharing my lofty life goals. I fear that others will bock and laugh if I tell them….not necessarily at my ability to perhaps achieve them, but for wanting to dream big at all…like, REALLY BIG!!
I find myself having a constant internal debate and struggling to determine what makes me different or better than all of the other people out there chasing the exact same dreams as me.
Why should I be so lucky? Am I foolish for thinking that I deserve that level of success? Do good things really come to those who wait? And precisely how long is the “wait”? Is it true that timing is everything? Or perhaps it has nothing to do with what I know, and everything to do with who I know (and who I don’t)!
Eeeek…I’m really letting my deep seeded insecurities ooooze out today, aren’t I?
Well, today I had an awesome reality check…
My oldest son is off to “big school” tomorrow a.k.a. Grade 1, and we stumbled into a sweet little convo today about his future. He was sharing his excitement about school, and his dreams and aspirations about being an artist (which he has chattered about since he could first talk). I told him that he can be anything he wants in life, and he relied by saying “yep, I can be anything I want, and I’m the only one who can stop me. If anyone tells me I can’t do something, I’m just going to say no thank-you and tell them they’re wrong”…and then he karate chopped the air!!
Wise words from a brilliant wee peanut…words that emotionally smacked me right up side the head!!!
If only I could live with such sure-fire confidence as my 6 year old son. A little lad that truly believes that anything is possible…ANYTHING!
So for the hours since our chat, up until now, I have been pondering his words and finally realized that I am a sham of a role model for both my boys if I don’t actually eat my own words of advice (and his) and truly chase my dreams with unapologetic confidence. I don’t plan to scream them from the rooftops, but I won’t be as “Canadian” about telling people…if they ask. And I have decided to stop asking the questions noted above, and instead start making more statements. Statements such as these that have been hanging out on my dream board beside “thing one and thing two” that I can’t yet talk about…
Ask for what you want, even if you don’t know how you’re going to get it!
Universe, show me what you’ve got!! <—I have been known to randomly scream this out while in the shower
Dream big, then dream bigger!!!
And on that note…I do believe it’s time to update my dream board 😉
Before I tootle off for the night to pack my first school lunch (BAH), I’ll leave you with my latest earworm obsession… I especially love the following lyrics:
We’re bigger than we ever dreamed,
And I’m in love with being queen.
Sleep tight tonight pals, and don’t forget to dream… XOXO